The time has come again. I've made yet another playlist with the sole purpose of breaking my own heart. Not because it's sad music, but because be it because of the lyrics, or the melody or even just where the silences drop, it has a direct line to squash my heart for the briefest of seconds or the longest of minutes.
I've titled it "I'd rather be chainsawed in half" because I really think that taking a Milwaukee 2727-20 to the ribs might hurt less than listening to some of these tracks.
The list could be closed but I'm thinking there is a chance I'll come across more of these painful songs in the near future. The algorithm has been fed quite a bit.
Here it is.
I'm only going to go through a few of these but all of them have ended me one way or another.
1. Teleharmonic - The Smile
I don't think there is another artist better fit to inaugurate this list than Thom Yorke & co. Teleharmonic. Where do I even begin? It's part of Wall of Eyes, an album that The Smile released at the end of January this year and hit me like a brick in the face. I gave it a quiet listen one day and when I realised this was on it I completely lost my mind. I had originally heard the track two years ago when the final season of Peaky Blinders was released. It was just the soundtrack to one of the scenes in the series. I became obsessed and tried to find it but it hadn't been released by the band and apparently they had no intention of doing so for the foreseeable future. After a few months, I lost hope and sat with resignation listening to shitty edits on YouTube.
I can't explain accurately enough what this song makes me feel. It's nostalgia and beauty and peace it just fills my chest with whatever life itself is made of. I cannot comprehend how a song can have so much power over my emotions and even my body as I physically react everytime I hear it. Unfortunately for The Smile, despite it being an objectively excellent album, I don't really give a toss about any other song that isn't Teleharmonic.
3. Yesteryear - urbanation
Teleharmonic's power resides in the melody, the voice and the sheer weight of the atmosphere it generates. Yesteryear is a much simpler song in those terms and it's almost stripped back to an acoustic tune. Her sweet voice and matter-of-factly delivered details of heartbreak through the lyrics make me want to sway forever in it. What does if for me in this one is the universality of it all.
It was released by urbanation back in 2018. Remember 2018? No? Me neither. It was released as a single. Everything this girl does is released as a single and she's been off-grid since 2020. I really hope she's cooking a corker of an album or something because people really have no right to drop a bunch of great songs and leave you wanting for more for four years.
After opening the heart with this vein of music, I left it open for a few more songs that are in the same style as Yesteryear.
4. BahBah - Insightful
Insightful released a new album, Broken Man, last Friday. He may be a broken man but that album broke me too. As a result, I decided to go through everything he has ever made. Again.
BahBah was released in 2022 as part of his album 33 and it's exactly what wishful daydreaming sounds like. If I had to soundtrack a fantasy, this would be it. The looped guitar, the ticking noise which sounds like a metronome on speed and is our main percussion sounds along with a reverbed bass drum every once in a while. The moment the backing vocals come in I know I'm in trouble, but it's not until those soft violins enter the scene that I don't fully feel it in my heart. It is absolutely heartwrenching because just like a daydream it finishes and you're left there clutching the remains of that useless organ that keeps you alive.
It is one of my favourites on the list although it did take me a while to decide what Insightful track to pick. He has a habit of reaching for my tender side.
5. K - BEASTIE
I can't really give a lot of context, it came to me thanks to the Spotify algorithm I've been training for the best musical finds Olympics. The artist has next to no followers and only two ruddy songs on the profile. One of them is K, released in 2023. Because it's new and nobody knows who this artist is. I'm gonna give it a bit of hype.
BEASTIE, WHAT ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU? It could be a female voice, a male voice, I don't know. I'm in love. What a sweet guitar and what an angsty voice. Listening to this made me a teenager pining in my bedroom for a crush that would most likely turn out badly.
I also secretly like that they might be singing about me. It's my song people, a song for me. And it has all that I enjoy in this bedroom pop music, unrequited love, reverbed guitars of different kinds, high pitches cries and great loops. Made for me I tell ya'.
Say Sorry by Kenneth Whalum serves as a great transition with the sweetest of apologies. The first time I heard one of the bridges on the song I thought I heard one of my ribs crack, Damn that pain in my chest. Damn you Kenneth.
6. Chelsea - St. Paul & the Broken Bones
We transition to the land of soul or soul-infused music and hit it off with Chelsea by St. Paul & the Broken Bones. This band is something else entirely and mainly, that leading voice. I think it really is beyond human to have that tone and that emotion. And it's not just that, it's the lyrics too.
Chelsea is sung to an unborn baby and it sings about future happiness and hope. It reaches a point where it is almost godlike and religious. Maybe Chelsea is the unborn baby of sound and light because that's what it sounds like. It's the softest lullaby ever and what a start of an album. The band released Angels in Science Fiction in 2023 and in my opinion (fact) it was one of the top 5 albums of the year. What a beautiful work of art. I can't wait to ball my eyes out when I see them live, I hope they crush me into tiny little specks of dust.
7. Sorry - Johnny Ruiz & The Escapers
It is safe to say that there isn't anything that Pinrose Records puts out that I will not like. Every single artist they carry is just one of those old souls of soul. And Johnny Ruiz & The Escapers has that onirical sound that The Flamingos used to have back in the day. This song is another soft tune. It's like a tear falling slowly from a cheek and glistening in moonlight. It is a joy to hear and to feel deep inside. How can something so sad be so dumbstruckingly beautiful.
This one grabs hold of the lungs right from the start and it's almost a breathless 2 minutes and 19 seconds. With the airy vocals and backing voices, and the instruments just playing their piece at the service of the sorrys and the forgiveness implored by our band. Simply delicious.
Give the whole list a go because all of the songs share some of the elements of The Magnificent Seven and honestly, they are all good enough to make you cry and be happy you're alive.
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